A new sound Part 1

Matthew 28: 19 – Go out and make disciples in all the nations. Ceremonially wash them through baptism in the name of the triune God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Then disciple them. Form them in the practices and postures that I have taught you, and show them how to follow the commands I have laid down for you. And I will be with you, day after day, to the end of the age. 
As I sit among these people, I feel my heart breaking. Their eyes are dull. Faces sullen. They look so…lost. Like little children alone in a shopping aisle, searching for their father. They are searching for the Father.

Rolling my lips into my mouth, I stop myself from crying. I won’t cry. Crying doesn’t get anyone anywhere. It won’t fix anything. Instead, I force a smile and start talking to one of them. A little girl, five years old, joins me and climbs onto my lap. The lady I’m talking to, tells me about her children and family. She tells me how she got here. She tells me she doesn’t like it here. But it will do. For now. She wants to leave. She wants to go, disolve into the ground and never come back. Her words rip at my insides. They sound so familiar. Those exact words have left my lips many years ago. And recently they’ve left the lips of two family members. It hits home. She tells me if she could die right now, she would be happy. 

I’ve seen many things. I’ve experienced many things. I’ve been on that side of the spectrum. Wanting to escape life, with blades and pills and guns. Recklessly walking in front of cars, hoping they’ll hit you. Trying to overdose on sleeping pills. It’s not a nice place to be in. In my lifetime, I wrote five suicide notes. They never made it to anyone. Fortunately. But as I sit across from this woman, I see my old self in her. Someone who completely gave up on life. Someone who lost all the light and hope in their eyes. 

I breathe out a shaky breath, because for a moment I don’t see her anymore but the twelve year old version of myself in flashes. The little girl on my lap, and I, take the woman’s hands in ours. I speak slowly and gently. We talk to her about Jesus. Tell her death isn’t the way out. If you die, you haven’t conquered death. Death has conquered you. We ask her if she has any pain. She points at her knees. I ask her to place her hands on them.

The reason I usually have people lay their hands on themselves is simple, to show them I’m not the one who has healed them but that they’re healed through the Power of God and He can work through anyone.

I place my hands over hers, and the little girl covers my hands with hers. Then we start to pray. We pray for all stress and trauma to leave her body. We pray for peace to consume her. We pray for perfection. For complete healing in the Name of Jesus. The five year old prays as well. It’s incoherent but she prays with such passion it moves me. 

When we’re finished praying, we remove our hands and ask her how it’s feeling. She says the pain is dull but it’s still there. Unacceptable. Jesus died and took upon himself ALL sickness. And with that we pray again, cause the light is invading the darkness and we stand for nothing less than complete restoration.

The little girl is mumbling under her breath with eyes shut tightly. Imitating what I’m doing. I’ve never seen something so precious. As we’re praying I feel God’s presence in the room. We remove our hands once again and ask her how she’s feeling. She says ALL pain is gone. She looks at us with amazement. And bewilderment. 

I feel a burning sensation inside of me, as I stand up to hug her goodbye. It’s the first time I’ve prayed for someone with a child accompanying me. Child-like faith. That’s what I see when I look at the blonde haired princess. And now I know why Heidi Baker has such a passion for it. To children, the Supernatural is natural. 

The little girl got excited when she saw the lady got healed. She tugged on my hand and said, “Let’s pray for more people!” And with that, we started praying for everyone in that room. The little girl taking the lead. Myself, just following. And we saw miracle after miracle after miracle occur. 

Love and Blessings

Milanie xx


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