“You are not enough. You will never be enough. Not pretty enough. Not thin enough. Not kind enough. Not funny enough. Not smart enough. Not gracious enough. Not wealthy enough. Not diciplined enough…But here’s what you are. You are too much. I can’t handle you because you are draining. You are too overwhelming. You are a waste of my time. Too clingy. Too needy. Too emotional. Too sensitive. Too strong. Too opinionated. Too messy. Too complicated. Too passionate. You are, too You.”
These are all lies that have been told to me in my nineteen years of being alive. When you hear this often enough, it attaches itself to your identity. It becomes your reality.
I believed this for most of my life. I believed this was the reason why people always left me. I developed severe attachment, trust and abandonment issues. Because of a lie. I believed that’s why it was so easy for men to use me, get what they can out of me, then toss me to the side. I believed that’s why I couldn’t keep friends. Why I always failed academically. Why rejection ended up being my closest companion. I embraced a lie, and made it my reality. Instead of going to God and asking Him how He sees me.
When we believe these lies, we clothe ourselves with shame. A universal companion of most people. It haunts us. Nips at our heels. Feeds on our fears of being alone. We walk with our heads low, trying to hide and disappear. We don’t want people to see what’s inside of us. We don’t want people to believe what we believe about ourselves. So we hide because of shame.
Here’s the truth.
My identity does not lie in whether you answer my text or not. Being ignored ain’t the greatest. But… my identity and worth, does not lie in whether you want to talk to me or not. It does not lie in the amount of friends I have. It does not lie in the amount of money I make each month or the amount I have in my account. My identity does not lie in a man or how much attention I get from them. It doesn’t lie in my parents. My identity is not determined by my past. How many people wrongfully treated me and how many people hurt me. It doesn’t lie in how many people hate me, and it doesn’t lie in how many people love me.
My identity doesn’t lie in a matric certificate or college degree. It doesn’t lie in my career or my performance ability. My identity doesn’t lie in my appearance. It doesn’t lie in my writing or my photography or business strategies. I can spin eloquent words, but it doesn’t determine who I am.
My identity lies in God. He made me in His image. He has called me His own. He has placed His Kingdom inside of Me. He has filled me with His Love. His Truth. His Power. He has called me to a higher place. He created me in this world but not of it. He has created me as a dream, and wrapped skin around it. He has given me the nations and all authority over Creation. He has placed the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, inside of me. He has given me His mind, which makes me incapable of being stupid or dumb. He has given me His Love. His Compassion. His Kindness. God is more than enough. And He lives inside of you. You are not too much. You are more than enough.
It’s time to start turning to God and hear what He has to say about us.
“You are beautiful. You are lovely. You are kind. You are special. You are brave. You are incredible. You are ENOUGH. You’re not too much. You will never be too much. I love you. I love you. I love you. You are strong. And resilient and magnificent. You shine brighter than the brightest star, and you are more powerful than the strongest storm. You are more majestic than the biggest waves, and sweeter than the smell of rain. You are wrapped in light and love. Filled with a fragrance more wonderful than the freshest roses. You, my love, are lovely to Me.”
Love and Blessings